The Lockdown Diaries - 5 Lessons I Learnt Turning 30 During COVID-19 Confinement

On April 11th 2020, I turned 30. 

The thought of leaving my twenties behind had got me seriously thinking for a while now. It felt like the end of an era. Made me feel anxious about all the things I was yet to accomplish. It made me compare my life to others. It made me scrutinise my body even more. It made wish I was younger. It made me inspect all aspects of my life with a fine-tooth comb to see how well I tracked against so-called “social expectations”. 

To mark the day, I had the usual big 30th birthday party planned, with over 60 people set to join the festivities. Then, COVID-19 happened.

Plans were cancelled, and instead, I ended up spending my birthday home, away from friends and family. Although this was not the celebration I had initially hoped for, turns out it reminded some of the biggest lessons I had forgotten along the way whilst I was too busy mourning my twenties.

1. Chill - it’s not that big of a deal 

This may be an obvious one, but turning 30 is not that big of a deal - it really isn’t. Life doesn’t instantly have to change after you enter your thirties. I truly believe society puts a lot of pressure on us, especially women. There’s this narrative that when you enter you thirties the clock is suddenly ticking faster than ever. A lot of pressure is put on us from all front, may that be from the media or by our surrounding, and many time close friends and family. 

But really, it’s up to us to move away from this narrative and chase whatever dreams make us happy. Looking at the millions of people dying worldwide because of COVID-19 really made me value the life I have. It also reminded that it was mine for me to live. 

2. Absence or distance, in this case, does make the heart grow fonder  

I think we often associate proximity or geographical closeness - for like of a better word - as the ultimate goal. For instance, for people in a long-distance relationship, the thought of eventually moving in together or living in the same country is often the ultimate goal. Don’t get me wrong, I have been in this situation and it makes total sense when thinking about a long term relationship. 

However, in the short term, I do believe that being away from the people you love makes you value them even more. In my case, having to spend my birthday party with friends and family on Zoom, instead of at home as planned, made me value their presence even more. I really felt like we really enjoyed and savoured the short time we had together. Whenever we get to see each other again to celebrate, I am sure we will be even more present during our time together than we would have before.

 3. Ageing is a gift NOT a curse 

One thing that really got me thinking during the past weeks self-isolating is the importance of perspective. In our western society ageing is often seen as negative. When in fact the way we perceive ageing is a simple question of perspective. We can choose to see ageing as getting one year older, or rather gaining one year more on this planet. Of course, you can imagine which option I would rather go for.

Again, looking at all the people who passed dramatically as a result of the COVID-19 outbreak made it difficult for me to look at ageing any other way.

4. Less is more 

Although I spent my 30th birthday at home social distancing, I had one of the best birthdays I could have hoped for. Seeing all the people I love coming together to make this day special for me, may that be via emails, on Zoom, through WhatsApp video or messages, or organizing a virtual surprise white party made this day truly special.

Yes, I did not have the party I had so wished for, or I may not have been physically surrounded by the people I love, but the simple fact of being with them digitally and spiritually made this day truly unique.

5. Enjoy the ride  

Last but not least, we so often worry about what’s next that we often forgot to enjoy the ride. As they say, the journey is well and truly the final destination. 

In these uncertain times, this is something that resonates with me more than ever.